believed in something so much, wanted something so badly that you let in run through your mind for days ? with hope to understand it, with wishfulness to achieve it? and at the end of the day while you are lying in bed fighting insomnia, hoping for pleasent dreams, thought yourself into craziness? i've searched for the answers, i've destroyed my brain and all the intricate nerves that tangle into the limbs of my body. and i am still where I started. In fact, right where I started, winding in such terribly oval circles that i've forgotten where I last thought, as clever as a goldfish. Back to the blank canvas in hopes to understand it, with wishfulnss to achieve it.
Clearly, this entry makes no sense to you, in some sick twisted way this is exactly my thoughts. I want the answers so badly. I hate games. I am so god damn blunt.
Is it so terrible that this is all because, I want something good to happen to me. This could change my way of thought, bring sleep in my nights, the feeling og security, liveliness and color to my cheeks. Is it selfish, terrible, ridiculous that this is all because I am enjoying this lingering happiness. This possible oppurtunity to feel again in ways I have seriously forgotten? Call me ungrateful, selfish, terrible, bash me so ignorantly in your little comment replies, but in the end I just want to believe in what you all already have. and what I don't.
be kind to me. I am being hopeful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment