petah coyne.

its is 11:11; make a wish. i never quite understood that, and as a reseult i never really do make a wish. i feel like wishes are silly too, nothing you ever want just happens, it takes hard work not just chance. at least, in most cases. but eleven is my number and is very symbolic to things that go in my life. it reflects a lot off odd abilities i have and i look at eleven as a good number, meaning change. it is a decent way to start an entry.

i woke up earlier today, which felt much better than sleeping my mornings away. but i did not accomplish much. i dislike being away from school and living at home. i keep saying this, but i need change, i need adventure. both are really hard to accomplish when you are bound to the four walls of your family home and without a car. but to sit here all day doing nothing is like, wasting my life away. i can think easily of a hundred things i'd like to do, only a few being probable.

I start school in eleven days (see eleven again) which means my life changes once more. new faces, new classes, new roommate, new crushes, new assignments, new shows, new train rides, new lost roadtrips, new cases of beer. i can leave at one in the morning to go to the park. i could walk into drunk people and go to dinner with them, which happens a lot. i could lay on the hill again when no one is around and try to make out the stars against the new york city skyline. i could go for campus runs again. everything will be set, i will feel independent and in control once more.

even then, in my little niche of my world i think i am still going to try and transfer to the city. it is where i have always felt like i belonged. i almost never feel connected with people, but somehow in that concrete jungle of everything immaginable i feel like i belong. maybe next year?

and i have this silly, not going anywhere crush. i seem to get them a lot. it is a nice thought that it would, but that is very ridiculous thinking.

my artist today will be petah coyne. she is a beautiful american born sculptor, lives in new york city. her work was a somewhat inspiration for a sculpture i created last semester. regardless, she is one of my favorite sculpture artists. very gothic, uses fabric flowers and birds, wax, candles, everything. also takes brilliant photographs. but i like her bizzzzare sculptures. enjoy.