eva hesse.

to say everything has been ordinary, would be a complete lie. and i am not complaining one bit. i acttually loved being drenched in activity and confusion and rushing to make buses and lunch dates. it makes me feel as though i am living and loving every moment of my life. that i am enjoying every breath. just like my tattoo.

so far so good. i don't even know where to began. I can start by leaving off from my last entry. friday our friends ended up coming to my dorm where we played games of kings and smoked cigars. saturday is such a blur i can't even remember, i know nikki and i went out but i can't even remember. sunday we went to a show to see some friends and see some friends play. we ended up so lost, we actually found ourselves at an airport. yeah... we chilled with jaqi there which was super. monday alyssa nikki and i went to a bar and i ended up sleeping over nikkis. tuesday, nikki and i made it into the city at like 11pm (after i had class, went home for dinner, and ran back to school) for a hispter bar/dj party. which was oddly intense. of course, i discovered one good looking guy who when i went to dance with him, quickly found he was gay. i'm really good at finding the gay ones. not a joke, not meant to be funny. seriously. we took an eight am bus to make class the next day.

last night was my first night in since i've been at school. during the day time and early evening bethany and i went to the mall.. but thats besides the point. i decided i needed rest because my immune system is struggling. i met up with an old friend for tea at like midnight. it was an overdue chat of needed explinations and killing of curiosity. i really needed it, and as hard as it was to hear all the things that already had hurt me, it was needed for clarification. i've learned through this experience so many things
1) chose your friends wisely they are all not real.
2) forgive, forget, and move on. life is to short to do otherwise.
3) real friends will care about one anothers well being.
4) no matter what falling out friends have, real ones always come back.
5) and don't limit your friends to a few people. this is probably the most important one.

I am unsure how i feel about the situation. feeling betrayed and forgotten is an odd emotion to feel all at once. i believe in time i will be fine with this mangled friendship, simply because i value friendship in all forms. only time will tell for sure.

i'm going to write a meaningful entry soon i swear. i need to update my life between class schedules and going out and lunch dates and shows. oi. basically i love life and i am looking forward to what else is going to come to me in the future.