i surrender.

I’ve officially given up, in the most mature and fragile way possible. It is not intended to be negative or frowned upon. I have just simply surrendered myself to the effort, to the attempt. From now on my plan is no plan what so ever. I am going to let life happen. I’m going to stop making plans ahead of time; I’m going to stop trying to make things work. Instead, everything will fall apart and carefully come back together whatever way some hire power or coincidence decides it should be. In the mean time, I’m going to keep doing what I am doing, living life.

And in an honest confession, I am more than frustrated. We all know I am not a patient person. If I want something, if there is something I can attain, oh, you know I’m doing what ever it takes to satisfy the completion. But some things are out of my control. I am going to let opportunity for a change come to me, and I will act on it. Instead of me always making my own opportunities.

This is my new outlook, among other things. Wish me luck.

New friends. New car. New job. New outlook. Maybe I should change my name while I’m at it?

I think I need new ink too… maybe?