it is official.

I just took my last final, which I am pleased and confident in saying that I did excellent. I wish I could say the same about some of my other finals.

It is bittersweet. I am sitting in my half empty dorm space. One of my room mates has already moved out days ago. My other roommate and I have half our things missing, posters and picures torn down, and our carpet rolled away. It looks pathetic. And while I look foward to going home to see my friends, I am very indifferent about leaving. I heavily wish it was just a break, so I could rest without school work, hang and see everyone, and at the end of the week, return home to my little cubicle.

I remember when I moved out of Franklin. I lived soley in that house for nearly thirteen years. I watched myself grow up in that home. The walls echoed of laughter and fights with my sister. The floor drawings and juice spills covered in tiles, our height chart painted over in fresh color, the chair at the kitchen table my grandfather always sat in. The knowledge my sister and I had of every good tree to climb, and every perfect man hunt hiding spots, the best views from the cliffs, and the hole in the fence to get to the water tower seemed banished forever in a whole new generation of kids. It was bittersweet leaving. I didn't look back. We traded our teenie apartment with shared backyards for our own bedrooms and ten acers. How could I look back. Sometimes I drive by. Every few years. This I am terrified of, the last time I drove by, the big beautiful flowering tree that shaded our home was gone. I can't even tell you the signifigance of that very tree alone. It was base for tag, where I lost my first tooth, where I used to read my school books in the shade, where we buried a poor baby bird that fell from its nest. Oh man.

I feel like leaving my little comfort zone at montclair will be like leaving behind so much growth. In less than a year, I have experienced so much that otherwise would not have happened. I have met some of the most interesting, beautifully minded, talented, kindest of people. In return I have met some of the most wicked, twisted, selfish souls. I have experienced failure, and again lost friendships. I have betrayed and lied to. My pride destroyed. But I have also been trusted and relied on, laughed with and on. No one will know and love this little dorm space more than I do. And instead of not looking back, this time I will.

This week I move back to my humble home in Sussex.