i'm 100% not ready to let go of my cubicle of comfort space. i am going to write a massive first year at school review for myself once it is really over, but for now it is not. i wonder if i have for granted this experience. By nature, by human nature I have. But I can honestly vouche for myself that I tried not to, maybe not my best all the time. But i did. I know I am lucky to be able to go get an education and go to school. I know I am lucky to have met good and bad people who have taught me both good an bad things. I know I am. I just hope that when I look back forty years from now I can still feel similar.
on a side note, the reason for my blog neglect has been this terrible series of sicknesses I have been cursed with. Even my previous entry was a draft until today and i just posed it unfinished. I've been sick since last week, and thus a hermit. I have barely gone out. I have missed out on last weeks wednesday night, friday night, and saturday night parties. As well as multiple cinco de mayo on and off campus activities. I voluntarily missed out on bamboozle. missed classes. stayed up all night trying to sleep. blah. teribbble experience. Needless to say, after a double eye infection, ear infection and sinus infection, as well as a fever from my wisdom teeth that came through into my cheek, i am on a list of antibiodics and starting to feel fresh again. slowly but surely. i was good last night, even though my roommate and i hopped along between three parties- not to drink. and tonight, while my girls head to the city i'm hanging solo trying to rest up and get better.
everything has been pretty glorious. minus the fact hat i just remembered i parked my park in the wrong lot so i prolly have a ticket. shit. anyways. everything has been pretty good. now that i am getting better things seem to be looking up. I am working a lot, trying to see everyone at school before the semesters over, visiting my thrift store hot spots, laughing a looot, being sober salllly, studying and such. on a side note, nikki (if you don't know who she is by now, get with it haha) used me as a model for part of her final photography portfolio. i put a mini album up of some of the shots she took. She takes some banging photos, and I am not just being partial because I'm in them (seriously) -she takes over great photos.
i've decided that people will never have anything pleasent to say. maybe its just me or the people i associate myself with (and thank god I do) but we're all really positive people. and at least for myself I can say that I believe the good in everyone. I mean, I am outgoing and chatty and I will go out of my way to make conversation with you or make you feel comfortable in most situations. Like events, parties, if you are a friend of a friend, if I am by myself, etc. I genuinely want to know you. I talk with a lot of people, I would not consider everyone I know friends but certainly friendly, familar kind faces. I talk to people in greek life, the athlete kids, people in my hallway, people from my friends dorm floors, my friends bandmates and their girlfriends, the dudes that are always high and drunk outside my building, the gangstas i ball with. everyone. and in the end i'm just chatty and friendly, nothing less and nothing more. This is not me being cocky or concieted, this is just me knowing who I am, and how I would or do act.
but i still get these lame ass secret blog comments and honesty box, "you're a wanna be." "you think you're hott shit, get over yourself" etc comments. at least i can take to the grave that I have never left anything secretly on someones cyberworld anything that was filthy, mean or degrating. i've only ever said nice, playful things. I believe in karma. I believe in telling people how you feel as long as its good ("hey i've always thought you were really gorgeous" -kayla would understand that one) so why do people even bother saying things that can be hurtful? and ha, even say it so secretly. If you have an issue worth starting up with someone, be an adult and talk about it. No? Grow up doods, I'm not offended by your insecurities.
anyways.
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