crossing my fingers

that my luck hasn't run out.

despite everything going on at this very moment, i'm happy. and on a second note i rarely write when i am happy. but i've had a lot of time on my hands lately i suppose. time to enjoy this mini sublime. comfort.

yesterday was just, an awesome day. even though i only slept for about three hours, i got my ass out of bed and to work at seven am. my manager drove me and three other employees to philly. what a car ride. this alone could be an entry. with alex screaming at old ladies on street corners at seven thirty am, "FUCK YOU" or running out of the car to climb on top of it, we also almost died seven times from mac trucks, almost drove past our ticket in a toll booth and chatted about everything immaginable. the car ride was funny and exciting and forlorned us of the rest of the day.

when we arrived i felt four. innocent and excited to roam and forget. the philly store is like, five levels, has insane amounts of employees, and is straight up ill. basically, i folded all day. but it was fun working outside of my element, working with many different employees, and even assisting customers in the store. for break, Reagan and I roamed trying to find food. I settled for a grilled cheese, which i ate while sitting in a park. people watching, and observing. it was so fun to sit out in the sun, watching little girls chase pigeons, and inked up teens talk about music, and business men cluster and talk trash about people at work. such an interesting mix of people, of interactions.

i fell in love with phillys easy going, artistic, clean atmospher. like a bigger, better new york city. i love the city, but its gloomey, dirty, and has the same types of people. philly just seemed alluring, and new, and it just stuck me all the right way. ironically, one of the girls at the philly urban said her and two other friends needed a housemate to join in on their house in july. this was also alluring. and the fact that a few of the art schools down there have rolling admissions, is also calling me. i'm eight percent ready to go. if i can transfer to school down there and transfer my job to philly i have no fucking reason for staying here. i want to see the world, i want to experience it all, i want to look back and know that i've been there. give me culture, feed me change. i am so ready to live my life and start over. fresh. eventually i'd love to live out west and such in random cities to experince it, to meet people, to everything. but i'm only nineteen, i think i have time to explore.

on our way out of philly we crammed six people in a jetta. what an out of control car ride. the night got better and better. or day i mean. we all squished. it was even more fun than the ride down. we played never have i ever which was a silly, confusing mess. we also tried to play many other games. we ended up listening to alex give cars personalities as they drove by, sterotypical, histerical personalities. and just whatever other silly stuff we scrambled upon. we arrived back in montclair sometime after six, maybe seven? so it was really long shift, but prolly the best one.

passed out at nine-nine thirty. woke up at eleven the NEXT day. i've never slept that long in my life. it was awesome.

today also ruled, nice easy day of classes. worlds fair at school meant free food and mad free vitamin water? crazy day in the quad. i also went back to work to help everyone close. it was a late night tonight for some reason. i think because the store was a shitty mess. after, everyone except dave (lauren, jon, chris, leo and i) all went to quick check to get ice cream and ate it at laurens house, well her like porch area. tonights topic turned into chodes. yes. hahaaaa.

now i'm here. two twenty am. wide awake from my long hibernation sleep. ready to do something exciting. ready to go back to philly? but i will settle for a park romp tonight. i am in need of it. for sure.


life is too short to live it anyother way than whatever way makes you happiest. realizing is more and more everyday. you should too.