giving myself credit.

that despite my crazy schedule, i'm still taking time out of it to see people who i love.

considering i work six to seven days a week, and spend a bit over two hours on the road each day (okay, yes I have established that this is crazy, but thanks) I come home and wonder how the days all blended together.

i'm going to try and revied the week or so. I need to document things so I don't forget what i've done. sad, but true.

tuesday night I visited my boys from school at their new place, which was really awesome. I only really hung out with john and manny because erick went out and kdons was upstairs with his lovely girlfriend. But we watched family guy andd had a chatfestt, nothing crazy. i crashed with manny and went to work in the morning.

wednesday i met up with a few of my friends from home, heather, bree, and danny. We went to a party in PA. It wasn't too far from their home town. But besides that, it was awesome seeing them because we had such a good summer last year. They wanted to go out and party hard because they were graduating high school on thursday. So anyways, we end up at some house. Everyone is oddly nice in PA. I'm not sure why. Bu we walked in and everyone wanted to meet us and say hello. I was semi freaked out at first because everyone was super scene. In conversation with one girl we were talking about our summer and how we work too much, I even got the an obnoxious "OH MY GAWD YOU WORK THERE I LYKE SHOP THERE ONLINE ALL THE TYME!" but besides that awkward experience, and some kid who tried pulling the let me show you how to hold a pool stick while talking about his time in jail, it was a pretty decent party. I got slightly drunk, first time in many, many weeks. But only because I knew we were all crashing there- no one was driving. and it was a house party. two good reasons to drink. Things got heated, and everyone had to leave the party after some dumb hoes in skirts and hollister polos came in starting drama with the girl " who looked at me weird." Bitches getting gangsta and doors were slamming. I pointed at her andd laughed in her face. oh she loved me. Anyways, good times. Since they had school in the morning, I ended up home at six forty five am. i was able to sleep, recover, and get my ass to work.

thursday night I don't believe I did anything besides come home very, very late.

friday night I had off, so I slept in. I reorganized my closet and drawer space- which needed to be done. And maria and i went to, well we tried to go to the waterfalls but when we got there it looked like a storm was going to come. It wasn't worth the ten minute hike to get rained on. So we ditched that, and headed to my favorite homemade icecream palor. After that, i went to nikkis. Well, first I picked up claudia and jess, two girls I work with, in montclair, than drove to nikkis house, than to kearny. You don't want to know how much driving that was. It was rough, but I was trying to do everyone a favor, so everyone could come out to rogers party. Which, ended up being pretty fun like last time. I only had like, three beers or so. I had a teenie buzz for a bit but I stopped myself before i could actually get buzzed. There were a lot of people I knew there, most were coworkers. But I enjoy everyone I work with so it was fun to hang and chat and pretend we don't work. It was good fun, lots of laughing, and such. After I slept at nikkis house, where we slept in and ate like kings after. We layed outside, floating on those pool loungers for a few hours. gloriousssssssssss. A hot, hot day, laying half way in very cold water floating around talking with your other half. life ruled. untilll, i had to leave for work.

after work on saturday i went to the burg to see my old, but still veryyy good friendd from high school JJ. He is one of, not only but one of, the only friends ihave from my high school that still makes an effort to talk to me. and not just talk, but we are still very close friends which is great. but anyways, he only came back from school for the weekend and was leaving the next day. So i went to see my boys from the burg. JJ, danny, nicky, brandon, and sunny were there. Gary had already left when I arrived. I love the shit out of hese guys you don't even understand. We stayed up all night bull shitting, drinking a few beers, and tellling old stories. We talked so much that i had to excuse myself at six in the morning. six! I left Js house with a soar tummy from laughing and more memories to add.

today, after work I met up with bethany for dinner at panera. we needed our girl chat, we caught up on so so so so much. we really needed it, i dont know how to stress enough. She is one of the girl friends that we just get eachother about bullshit, specifically guy bullshit. listening to us talk is like, watching sex and the city hahaha. I'm so happpy I got to see her and her fine self. I could go on forever about how much fun we've had for such a short time knowing eachother but, some other time perhaps.

after dinner I made a list of seventeen things I needed to do before I called it a night. I only did not do three of them, one which was out of my control. I feel accomplished that I time managed and worked on what needed to be worked on. Sometimes I doubt myself because I feel like such a buzy scatter brain, but given the focus and drive, i'm your woman!

anyways, good night for now. I'm supposed to go to Toms River tomorrow for a party after work but the fear of the long drive and being too tired is killing me. I really want to see my friend though, but, we'll see.




and on a side note: i've been thinking so much recently. I'm digging through my brain for answers to questions I havn't even figured out how to ask to myself. I feel like my brain is bleeding from trying so hard to make something out of nothing. but I know there is something, something lingering somewhere deep, now allowing me to make the connection. and to find the answers.